She said college has really changed me -
As in, I'm actually exercising out of my own will.
We both agree that for the first time,
We taste freedom and independence.
For the first time, we could really do what we want
Just bear your own consequences.
Blink, and it's mid-October.
In two months, we will be on the plane back to Hong Kong.
And as much as I cannot wait to go back,
I am afraid of going back.
In our minds, nothing has changed
In reality, everything has changed.
It's weird what we want sometimes.
I found myself wishing that we can just go on with our lives
Without having to go back
And catch glimpses of our past.
I wish we didn't have to go back and forth
With present and future.
College, more than anything, feels like the future.
Hong Kong, as I hate to say - the past.
And right now, I feel like a ghost hovering in between the two
Not knowing where present lies.
The more you grow up, the more you see
Emotions have no definitions.
They are such relative and personal words.
My friend told me that she still could not find college comfortable
Because it doesn't feel "normal".
But what is normal?
Going back would not be normal
Because everything is the same old, but different.
But this is where you learn to walk by faith.
To walk humbly and obediently after the one who sees the bigger picture.
This is where you learn to hold on and fight
When the world screams at you to give up, to give in.
Along the way, you will find that your heart is greedy
If you will just pause for a minute and talk to your heart
Ask your heart what it wants
The list is endless, the list goes on.
The human heart will never be at peace
Until we acknowledge that these desires
Are like appetites.
You can go on eating forever
Only to find that you will be hungry again
But hey, I've got the solution for you.
I know the solution.
