有位愛我的天父，祂永遠不放棄我，
祂愛的同在使我完全，我深知祂顧念著我，我知祂顧念著我。

在許多危難時刻，在流淚的過程，你永不離開或丟棄我，
我深知你顧念著我，我知你顧念著我。

吸引我貼近你心，擁抱在你懷裡，
我愛你我的天父，你是我的一切。

I was having a conversation with a dear friend today

She said college has really changed me -

As in, I'm actually exercising out of my own will.

We both agree that for the first time,

We taste freedom and independence.

For the first time, we could really do what we want

Just bear your own consequences.

Blink, and it's mid-October.

In two months, we will be on the plane back to Hong Kong.

And as much as I cannot wait to go back,

I am afraid of going back.

In our minds, nothing has changed

In reality, everything has changed.

It's weird what we want sometimes.

I found myself wishing that we can just go on with our lives

Without having to go back

And catch glimpses of our past.

I wish we didn't have to go back and forth

With present and future.

College, more than anything, feels like the future.

Hong Kong, as I hate to say - the past.

And right now, I feel like a ghost hovering in between the two

Not knowing where present lies.

The more you grow up, the more you see

Emotions have no definitions.

They are such relative and personal words.

My friend told me that she still could not find college comfortable

Because it doesn't feel "normal".

But what is normal?

Going back would not be normal

Because everything is the same old, but different.

But this is where you learn to walk by faith.

To walk humbly and obediently after the one who sees the bigger picture.

This is where you learn to hold on and fight

When the world screams at you to give up, to give in.

Along the way, you will find that your heart is greedy

If you will just pause for a minute and talk to your heart

Ask your heart what it wants

The list is endless, the list goes on.

The human heart will never be at peace

Until we acknowledge that these desires

Are like appetites.

You can go on eating forever

Only to find that you will be hungry again

But hey, I've got the solution for you.

I know the solution.

Fight the good fight.

In the midst of such a hectic week,

I really shouldn't be blogging...

But I think I've come to the brink of the cliffs

And writing seems like a haven at the moment.

Mommy went back to Hong Kong today

Suddenly it feels like it's just me and college.

2 midterms are done and over with

Got my first english paper back.

Math midterm this friday...

I have yet to finish my math assignment due in 23 minutes.

God is a gracious God, no matter what you say.

I went to the library to do my math homework

After all tutorial services have closed.

But what I found was a math major sitting right across me

Who was very, I repeat, very helpful.

That could not have been a coincidence.

I have asked for help, and that's the help that I got.

For some reason, I'm feeling exhausted.

I feel like I have my life to take care of

Now that mommy is back in Hong Kong.

I found myself thinking, if this will be me

In ten years - looking after myself.

There was a memo on our dorm today

Telling women not to travel by themselves after dark

Apparently, a few girls have been attacked on campus

There is nothing new under the sun.

I'm tired.

I feel like I carry a fifty year-old soul.

This is me - exhaling my inner rant.

I wish life could slow down

I wish life can fast forward itself

I am a paradoxical person.

I'm glad my God will never forsake me

Eternity, can be understood.

It's not an empty word.

Eternity means forever,

It's a circle - like a ring.

Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all you who remain of the house of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
and have carried since your birth.

Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

I read this verse to a dear friend a few days ago

Funny how it's exactly what I need.

I need to know that I will be taken care of.

I think too often, we try to hide our pain.

We try to appear bigger, stronger and greater than the storms in life.

We avoid, we ignore, we suppress our stinging wounds

Sometimes we seek temporary relief

Too often, we find ourselves in the same place

The same fear.

But hey, sometimes - it's okay to hurt.

It's okay to admit you are needy

Because to admit that means you are being honest

Better yet is to admit it to the person who can help you

If you don't tell the doctor your problem,

He isn't going to force his needle on you.

Cry, it's okay to cry.

Because the skies cry all the time.

When they stop crying, though

The trees are refreshed

The grass is greener

The air is fresher

Sometimes, you can also see the rainbow.

It's okay to be weak

Because from weak, you can be stronger.

A dear friend once told me

To be molded by God, you must be a wet piece of clay.

She said you must drown yourself in the presence of God

In the goodness of the Spirit.

Right now, I think being a wet piece of clay

Also means letting your tears out

Let the truth flow out

Because you are never crying alone.

What do words express?

Words are but a portion of what I feel.

Words only tell so much about me.

Who will go beneath these words

And look into my heart?

Who will pursue me

Beyond who I may seem to be?

Who will go an extra mile

To discover my dreams?

Who will make the effort

To unveil my fears?

Who will chase me

When I run away?

Who will come after me

When I try to escape?

Who will look for me

When I go into hiding?

Who will love me

And never change?

Who will stand up for me

When fingers point my way?

Who will fight for me

When attacks are directed at me?

Who will be with me

When I cry in the corner?

Who will lend me a shoulder

When my head feels too heavy?

Who will look my way

When the glamor of the world shines at its brightest?

Who will pay me any attention

When the stars sparkle at their prettiest?

Who will offer a hand

When the burden I have is even too heavy for me?

Who will stay with me

When the world sees a better companion?

Who will find me beautiful

When all I have are rags and shags?

Who will know how I feel

When words aren't enough?

When I don't find the strength to speak?

When words lose meaning

Words have lost their meaning.

Answer me, will You?

Please just look into my heart

And speak to it.

Talking has become an exhaustion.

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today

Take me, mold me, use me, fill me

Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me.

Oh dear Potter

Captivate me.

賜我勇敢的心一無畏懼，因為我願為祢去

Wake Me Up When September Ends

It's so hard to believe a month went by so quickly.

I've been in this city for almost two months now

Sometimes I find myself daydreaming of Hong Kong

In the middle of finding the derivative of f(x) blah blah blah

I wonder if my security guard is still the same -

If he still recognizes me.

I miss the motion -

The action of the MTR Station, especially Admiralty during rush hours.

I miss celebrating October 1st

Even though patriotism was never too obvious on that day.

Watching the reruns of the fireworks on TV now

(not to mention the lame background music)

I miss the night view by the TST harbor, very much.

If Vancouver was a woman, she might be jealous of Hong Kong

I have to say, there is much to appreciate here.

I love that you can witness autumn here

Trees go from green to yellow, yellow to orange, orange to red

I love how when the wind blows your direction,

Withered leaves rain on you at the same time.

I love being able to see the moon while the sun shines on you

I love watching the sky turns orange at 6 o'clock.

After my Economics class at 5:30, a friend asked if I was going home.

I said, "I wish."

He laughed and asked if I was ever going to call my residence my home

If I was ever going to call Vancouver my home.

I was so sure to say no.

I was so sure to say that only Hong Kong will ever be my home.

Now that I think about it.

My home is neither of the two.

My home is growing everyday

Bigger and stronger.

I am not away from home

Because wherever I am,

There are people waiting to be shown the way home

There are orphans hoping to find home

There are the homeless who never knew what home was -

Let alone the warmth of home

And the depth of the father's love.

Oh, his children are just about everywhere you look.

You just got to open your eyes.

Ask Him to do that for you.