Blogspot, I feel like I've abandoned you.

With Tumblr, Twitter and may I introduce to you all -

My new diary :)

Oh dear, it's hard to keep up with it all.

But lately, I feel like my thoughts need to be constructed in private.

A Bigger Dream

I took some time to think about my thoughts today

Most revolved around food, midterms, what to do this weekend,

People, and I confess - too much negativity about people.

I don't like what I found.

CED classes have prep me well

Memory verses do come in handy.

Whatever is noble and clean - think upon such things.

What's godly, what's not?

Have you tried running on a treadmill with your eyes closed?

I bet not. I also do not recommend it.

It's a scarring experience.

But to run in a race, you need to have your eyes on a focus

Something to keep you in balance.

Likewise, to run in this race called life -

We need to have our eyes on something.

For some, it's success. They want to go higher and further. They want to be on top of the game.

For some, it's complacency. They like the way things were and there is no heart for adventure.

For some, it's love. Dependency brings comfort and security - all too soon shattered.

For some, it's grudges. We live to show them we're better.

For some, it's simply life. We live for the sake of passing by. We live life like a butterfly, with stages to complete. Graduating, getting married, having kids, earning big money, retiring. And finally dying.

There is no satisfaction because this isn't what we were made for.

We were made to be loved. To be loved is to be beautiful.

We were made to bear upon a badge of beauty on us.

But not what the world defines as beautiful.

Have you ever thought a person was beautiful, but in time that ceases to be so?

For the girls out there, what kind of woman do you want to be?

Take some time and seriously think about the woman in your life - who lives to be a role model?

I have found that those I can look up to might not be the prettiest in the world's eyes

But you can no doubt see beauty emanating from them

That's because the origin, the creator of beauty lives in them.

The beautiful one resides in their hearts -

They can't help but glorify his beauty

They can't help but reveal his grace.

To the woman whom I look up to

I thank God for putting you in my life

That I may know what it means to live a peaceful and quiet life

A life of gentleness and faithfulness.

A life that's beautiful.

A life in which Christ is living in.

I have had three unpublished posts in the span of 3 days

And to find just the right expression for my state of emotions is in fact -

Not very difficult.

Lately it's been "tuck-me-away-in-my-closet" sort of days

Thoughts have been thrown in this lost sea

Visits have been made to reflections.

What's a journey to tread on without looking to see how far we've come?

I gained a better picture of the course I'm steering towards

Or should I say, I've been shown a better picture of the direction I'm heading to.

I've made a visit to my old self

When recklessness was my driver.

A headless chicken runabout without a brain

A headless chicken would be a right comparison.

But recklessness has to do with innocence

When consequence is an unknown factor.

I was a passenger on a highway

With recklessness as my driver.

Do I wish to go on the same path again?

18 and legal in some places, I am an adult.

To say yes is to be stupid.

But there is that little giggly self of me hiding behind the bush

Hoping to run around without my head again.

Back when taking a step forward would not send shocking triggers down my back.

You may say I've become cautious

Why not hop on and see where it takes you?

Dear friend, I am already on my way

And I am not stopping for anything.

One fine day I may see that you would want to go the same way

But until then, this train is not stopping.

Time is not wasted in waiting

Because in fact, we're on our way.

A year ago, the ticking of the clock frightened me.

But now I know the Author of Time.

Godspeed.

This train is not stopping.

You Were Born To Be Loved

你是為了接受主愛被揀選的人

당신은 사랑받기위해 태어난 사람

君は愛されるために生まれた

Just in case you couldn't read one language or another

I have 25% of you understanding that.

You were fearfully and wonderfully made.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart;

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

- Jeremiah 1

I needed something green.

Something fresh and alive.

Have you ever came across a smell

And it triggers a whole chain of memories in your head?

Putting on my Shea butter & sesame oil body balm today

I suddenly smelled home.

I smelled that lingering bittersweet feeling

Just one weeks before I left Hong Kong.

I smelled of frustration and of confusion

That goes beyond the difficulty in leaving.

I smelled of that perplexed me

While I was to find a way out of the spiderweb

While I frantically tried to chase time

Only to find that it wasn't time that betrayed me

But the you who was wearing the watch.

The you playing with the needles of the clock.

Today I'm no longer angry.

I'm no longer running around

I have found peace.

And this peace is mine

As I sit in silence in the palm of His hand.

As I watch Him finish painting this grand picture

As I watch Him put the pieces of this puzzle in their places

I know that this, this palm is where I belong.

My God is not dead, He's surely alive.

Before heading off to Passion Vancouver yesterday

I saw a rainbow for the first time in my life.

For a city girl, I've always wanted to see a real one and here it is -

Right before me, from one end to the other

Arching above my head.

And I remembered His promise -

While trying to chase it to the end.

"I have set my rainbow in the clouds,

and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds,

I will remember my covenant between me and you

and all living creatures of every kind..."

- Genesis 9

And I wondered if God was thinking about the same thing

When he saw the rainbow.

It has been a few thousands of years...

But his word, his promises - they last for eternity.

God is good, God is so good.

When we started off our journey to Rogers Arena,

My friend and I had no idea how to get there.

But for some reason, we were able to find another group of UBC students

Randomly on the sky-train.

And we tagged along and got there just in time.

If you ask me to go there again I would not know.

There were 10,933 from all over North American last night.

And to think that God wasn't moving in this city...

To think that God is dead.

No, my God is surely alive in this city.

But I remember one thing he said last night.

Rogers Arena is located in downtown, somewhere near Chinatown.

(That's the best description I can give).

Everyone has warned me about Chinatown, East Hastings.

It's a place where heroine addict gather, where prostitution prospers.

Where hollow hearts congregated.

Where the devil is at work powerfully.

Yet, where God's grace reaches further.

And the guy was saying last night,

As the band was walking through East Hastings,

Their hearts broke.

And he wondered, would Jesus be celebrating and dancing

With ten thousand of us in the stadium

Or would he be slipping out over and over again

To see his lost sheep.

To see the brokenhearted.

To see those who desperately need him in their lives.

Hollow eyes are everywhere.

They aren't just in East Hastings.

They are at your workplace, at your schools,

Where you live.

They are at your family, your circle of friends.

God had told Abraham that he would not destroy the city of Sodom

If there were 20 people who are righteous.

"for the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it."

If ten thousand of us decide to take up His cross -

God's compassion moves through us.

His mercy will be manifested.

There would be ten thousands of empty vessels for the grace of God to flow down.

It was a cold, cold night last night.

While we were sound asleep in a room with central heating.

There are people shooting up heroine

Just a few streets down the road.

Living in a vicious cycle of hopelessness and despair.

Break my heart, for what breaks Yours.

In a city so dead, may Your Spirit breathe life.

Pinky Promise

"Be confident of this, that he who began a good

work in you will carry it on to completion until

the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6

As I read on about the relationship between God and Abram,

I'm almost jealous of the promises God made to him.

Imagine yourself, childless, wrinkly and old

And someone tells you you're descendants will be as great as the stars.

Not only that, but that your descendants will be slaves for 400 years

Only to return to where you are from in the 4th generations.

Hey, that also means you will have a great number of descendants.

That's not the best part, because if you read on -

God kept his promise, and they returned to the land of Canaan

In the book of Joshua.

That is plenty of books later on...

But the point is, God kept his word.

I believe many of us have stopped believing in promises.

Just because hardly anyone really keeps them nowadays.

But this covenant God made with Abram

Is a living example of faithfulness

Of a faithful God who keeps his promises.

And he will carry on the good work he began in you

Until we see him face to face.

Why Abraham?

As I was reading Genesis 12 today,

I came to question why God chose Abraham (or Abram then).

I mean, he wasn't the most honest man.

He lied to Pharaoh about Sarai so he won't be killed

And later on, he made love to his wife's servant because Sarai was barren.

Seriously, why Abraham?

Ask, and you shall receive.

Ask questions and there will be answers.

Abraham, was a man of faith.

That's it. As simple as that.

And this just shows how deeds from man means nothing to salvation.

We cannot build our way to righteousness.

We may be the most honest person on earth

We may have the most charitable heart.

We may be the most generous to the poor.

But at the end of the day, we are still so full of crap in our hearts.

Faith alone - is what it takes.

Faith is what Abraham had.

And that's what pleased God.

Abel pleased God, by faith.

Now ask yourself today, do you have faith?

Look past everything you are doing

Every ministry you are in

Where is your faith?

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt,

not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain,

"Go, throw yourself into the sea," and it will be done.

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Matthew 21:21.