Our hearts often look for a place to settle on:

An idea to ponder

A grudge to hold

A memory to replay

A person to blame

A place to miss

An adventure to expect

Anything that holds our heart to a temporary rest.

Why, my heart has been doing some traveling lately

And I've been to all those places.

I have not found...for the lack of a better word -

Peace.

Peace has a lot to do with acceptance

Knowing you can't always get what you want.

I'm so full of wants lately

And sometimes I barge my way through to get my want.

Venting out my frustration in all sort of ways.

Yet my deepest desire

The loudest pang of my heart is cruelly repressed

Looking for the right moment to cry out.

As the Rolling Stones sang

"You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes

Well you just might find

You get what you need."

I have all that I need.

And I'm asking that You trade my wants for my needs.

I'm asking that You show me Your providence.

And I'm asking that You take care of the rest.

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

Yet another trip to the airport.

One by one my family has returned to Hong Kong

Still, the airport stands as a barrier between me and...

My jet plane.

I wish I could sing that song and fly.

Yet I know, there is a time for everything.

A time to be born and a time to die

A time to plant and a time to uproot

A time to kill and a time to heal

A time to tear down and a time to build

A time to weep and a time to laugh

A time to mourn and a time to dance

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them

A time to embrace and a time to refrain

A time to search and a time to give up

A time to keep and a time to throw away

A time to tear and a time to mend

A time to be silent and a time to speak

A time to love and a time to hate

A time for war and a time for peace

Ecclesiastes 3

The time to scatter stones has come

And I can't wait until it is time to gather them again.

All the things we said we would do

All the reasons you gave me to believe in you.

"Sometimes the truth makes everything else seem like a lie"

It's been 20 days since I got here.

And as difficult as it had been -

I've been stretched in many ways.

I think sometimes being in the same environment

Gives you an excuse to be complacent.

Moving away has forced me to reevaluate myself

And I came to the conclusion that I am not very responsible.

Bank statements, phone plans (not to mention monthly bills)

Planning your own meal, eating enough veggies

How to safely work in a kitchen is a huge question mark.

I didn't know you can't put cheese in the microwave

Or heat bread for 1 minute.

What happens when you get cramps

And you can hardly walk to the kitchen?

A tiny shoutout to my trustee friend "White Flower Oil"

It helps.

I am not very tidy either.

Keys, bus pass, student ID -

Why can't they be bigger?

What kind of people do you avoid on the street?

The answer is - beware of everyone.

Maturity has its physical side.

For people like me, this side of maturity only grows under pressure.

When life shouts at you to be more responsible

That's when you really got to be responsible.

And start putting things in places you will remember.

只有十句話

Reblogging this from Teresa T.

第一句
如果我們之間有1000步的距離
你只要跨出第1步
我就會朝你的方向走其餘的999步

第二句
通常願意留下來跟你争吵的人
才是真正愛你的人

第三句
付出真心才會得到真心
却也可能傷得徹底
保持距離就能保護自己
却也注定永遠寂寞

第四句
有時候不是對方不在乎你
而是你把對方看得太重

第五句
朋友就是把你看透了還能喜歡你的人

第六句
就算是believe中間也藏了一個lie

第七句
真正的好朋友
並不是在一起就有聊不完的話题
而是在一起就算不說話
也不會感到尷尬

第八句
没有一百分的另一半
只有五十分的兩個人

第九句
為你的難過而快樂的是敵人
為你的快樂而快樂的是朋友
為你的難過而難過的
就是那些該放進心裡的人

第十句
冷漠有時候並不是無情
只是一種避免被傷害的工具

I don't think I have lived long enough to test out the validity of each.

But I've learned some.

How much of this have you found out to be true?

Your Grace is Enough

You see there are wounds in our heart that will only deepen.

Sometimes we are fooled to believe we are healed,

Perhaps by momentary reliefs or distractions.

But when the right stimulation comes along,

Stirring up a chain of suppressed past

You realize the pain has only gotten worse

And that the only way to remove the pain

Is to treat it from the roots.

Sometimes it may mean eliminating its existence.

Other times, it means to uproot the old to replant the new -

For an unhealthy origin cannot produce anything healthy.

At rare times, you find that no matter what you do

The wound stays put, infesting your whole heart

Eating you slowly alive.

It's at these times I find myself helpless.

Unable to stand on my feet, I kneel on my knees.

I'm painfully humbled at my own limitations,

The fact that I can't save myself.

Why, I'm glad my God has a fascination with dirt.

With people who can't help themselves.

Or else this blog would not stand -

There would be no beauty in ashes.

There would be no beauty in my life.

And as I wait for this healing

I'm led to quiet waters

Where he restores my soul.

Until this heart is whole again.